(Simone Perele Idylle lingerie)
I’ve been thinking about my personal underwear choices over the last few weeks.
I, like many women feel less than positive about my body at times – my issues might not be debilitating as someone else’s and might not be apparent to the world at large – but they can certainly affect my mood and definitely my confidence.
But as with so many things in life, our own perception tends to override any positives someone else might point out. I have no idea why, but when it comes to body image we are our own harshest critics.
Our underwear drawers are an integral part of our wardrobe, and like our wardrobes need rethinking and culling every now and again. But actually the lingerie we wear can be much more of a secret weapon than I initially realised.
I thought I would check in with underwear expert Caroline Randell, who owns her own boutique in Wimbledon Village and get her take on it.
It turn out that our underwear habits tend to shift, as we get older.
Frustratingly, a lot of forty-something women who come to Caroline’s shop feel like they don’t deserve to have pretty underwear. They might buy something special for a date – but it would be an anomaly.
This really bothered me because I might feel something looks a bit young, or I “shouldn’t” wear it but I definitely feel we all deserve to feel special every day, even if we are the only ones who know about it.
Also a lot of forty-somethings, like me feel like our bodies have changed irreparably after childbirth. I seem to fixating on my stomach and my stretch marks at the moment and how, at times I find them disgusting.
It has nothing to do with not loving giving birth, but I want to by pass my niggles and feel good about myself, everyday.
Some of us lose the fullness of our boobs, so getting fitted with a good bra helps with support and lift and it doesn’t matter what age you are – we all love a bit of lift (!)
Some women fixate on the area above your bra strap, unflatteringly called “back fat”…
The girls, at Caroline Randell told me that some women go in who are less well endowed and just want to look bigger, other fuller ladies want their boobs to look as small as possible, which I am guessing is tricky and something I had never thought of. The list goes on… it turns out we ALL have our issues, totally personal and often completely invisible to anyone else.
So why should we care about our underwear – if we are not happy about how we look naked, feel unattractive or don’t have someone special to wear something for?
Caroline put it beautifully, “Lingerie is for yourself, and something only you might know. It creates an inner confidence and kind of empowers us and that is what the world sees.” This is a really important point and one I feel we should all place stock in, especially if sometimes we do feel negative about our body image.
The good news is, as we age, no style or type of underwear is off limits. And I felt sure some things would be. Of course we all want good foundations to our outfits but we don’t need to view our underwear drawers differently as we get older.
It all comes down to personal taste, your personality and your mood on a given day.
My “go to” underwear is black but I also love to wear colour – I’m going through an orange phase at the moment – I think it might be the warmer weather…
Without doubt, wearing lovely lingerie has a knock on effect on how we feel, what kind of energy we radiate, and so how we present ourselves to the world.
And finding the right underwear for you is not about hiding away your “negatives” but accentuating your positives – and we all have positives, even though it might take us a while to realise it.
Caroline Randell Lingerie offers a personalised fitting service and carries a wide range of beautiful brands. Check it out at: https://carolinerandell.co.uk/